Emotions make terrible destinations but very helpful compasses. - Jennie Allen
I often hear, "I just want you to be happy".
I see others justify wrong choices in the name of happiness.
People strive to be happy, to make others happy. That's great; we all love to be happy. Happy is a good thing. Happy is NOT a destination.
I get it. I get the desire to be happy. I get the longing in your heart to make those you love happy. I even understand the desire to sacrifice your own happiness if it might lead to greater happiness for someone you love.
Here's the thing: life isn't about being happy. To teach that, to perpetuate that kind of thinking, is wrong. You are doing a disservice to those you care about if you allow them to think, to live, that way.
Happiness is fickle. It is fleeting. Happiness is that feeling you get when circumstances line up and things are going your way and life is easy and fun and things just feel good. After you have lived a little while you know that it is virtually impossible and highly irresponsible to live life from the center of a happiness bubble. You cannot center yourself around only those things which make you happy and be responsible, considerate of others, or grow in character.
When circumstances align and you are just happy - enjoy it! Live it up, revel in it, cherish every moment.
Don't let happiness be your destination. Life is hard and no one is exempt. When happiness is your destination, you don't allow room for more fulfilling things.
You don't allow room for joy.
Joy, unlike happiness, has to be cultivated. Joy is learning to be content and satisfied, even when circumstances don't align and life isn't everything you want it to be in a given moment.
Rick Warren says, "Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation".
You don't allow room for the satisfaction of doing the right thing.
When your choices center around your own happiness you don't get to feel the satisfaction of doing the right thing, even when it is hard. Often, you rob yourself of feelings of compassion, generosity, kindness, and benevolence. These feelings, if given a chance, will surpass happiness. They are rooted in good character and are a strong foundation for a productive, joy-filled life.
You don't allow room for important growth opportunities.
When your choices center around the happiness of someone you love, you have to ask yourself if you are choosing their happiness in this moment over an opportunity to grow in character, over an opportunity to learn from real world consequences. Are you choosing the ease of happiness over important life lessons, over speaking the truth in love?
Happiness is not a destination, but it can be a helpful compass. It can steer you toward those callings deep within your heart.It can guide you towards your life's purposes and the types of work that bring you the most fulfillment.
Let your destination be one of good character.
Wherever life takes you, let your destination be one of authenticity, kindness, generosity, joy, integrity ... and those characteristics nearest and dearest to your heart.
