Do As I Do

I recently finished a study on Philippians. I have been thinking a lot about Paul's "do as I do" teachings: 

- Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. Philippians 3:17

- Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. Philippians 4:9

Whew! I can't imagine saying this to my fellow believers! I try to live a life that is right before God, but perfect I am not!  Paul made mistakes. How could he say these things with any real confidence in his ability to live an exemplary lifestyle?

I love verses like these that stick in my head to be mulled over again and again. I've been thinking about the lifestyle Paul was living, a lifestyle we strive to live, that would enable us to say, "Do as I do". Here's what I've come up with:


Paul was a righteous man.

Righteous... that can be such an intimidating term! Verses about righteousness used to leave me feeling so defeated. Then I learned that righteous just means that we are in right standing with God, forgiven.  Not perfect, but forgiven? We can do that!


Paul walked in an intimate relationship with God. He was in prayer, inviting God to be at work in his life, his circumstances, and in his heart. He took time to hear that still, small voice. He listened to the whisper of the Holy Spirit. I believe he heard from God on everything he did. He lived his life, not according to his own will, but according to His Father's will and His Holy Spirit guidance. 

At times it can be hard to discern God's will in our lives. He speaks to us so frequently through peace, or a lack of peace, through a word in due season, and through the promptings and desires of our Christ-changed, Christ-filled hearts. It can be scary to think of missing His will at times, of walking outside of His will. I have learned to find comfort in His promises. These verses are reassurance at times when His will feels unclear:

- In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will... Ephesians 1:11

- For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

He has a unique plan, a purpose, for each of us. We were created with this purpose in mind, gifted according to His will (Romans 12:6). I believe it is in using our gifts, talents, and abilities to fulfill our purposes that we find fulfillment, joy, and contentment. 

- He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

- If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

He is faithful to complete the work He began in us. He is working in us faithfully, even when we stumble, when we cannot discern His will, or when we are uncertain we are on the right path.

- For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13 

We belong to Him. We were each created for a unique purpose. He is going to help us along. He is going to give us the grace we need to fulfill our purposes. He is going to enable us to do with ease what we could never do on our own without His help. He equips the called, rather than call the equipped, that through our victories, He may have the glory.  


Paul lived a life of discipline and self-control.(1 Corinthians 9:24-27) He did his part to the best of his ability and trusted God with the rest.   


Finally, I think Paul lived a translucent life. He made mistakes, but was quick to respond to conviction, to seek forgiveness, and make corrections. He was humble enough to share the thorn in his flesh and his mistakes, that we may learn and grow right along side him. 


Until Christ returns and we are made perfect, we can strive toward a "do as I do" lifestyle. Like Paul, we can walk in forgiveness, live our lives as a whispered prayer and, consistently seek God. We can learn to discern His will and have faith that He is working in us and on our behalf, because whatever we are on any given day, God is faithful. We can continue to grow in self-discipline and self-control. We can allow ourselves to be transparent by trusting in God to grant us favor among men despite our inadequacies. 

My favorite thing about Paul's exemplary life, is that God used all that Paul was. His past was not wasted. He used Paul's mistakes, his shortcomings and weaknesses, as well as his strengths, just as He desires to do with us. I love that nothing is wasted on God. He can take all that we are, both the good and the bad, and He can use it to His glory.   

My Redeemer

Last week was the twenty-sixth anniversary of my adoption.

I can only remember seeing my biological father twice during my childhood. I think both times were within the same week... I'm not sure. I was around the age of five. My aunt -his sister- was getting married and we were both on the guest list. I knew I would see him that day. My mom pointed him out to me. I remember waiting with several kids that I did not know to greet him. I remember worrying he wouldn't know who I was. He did. I sat next to him during the ceremony. He gave me a butterscotch lifesaver. I don't remember much about the other visit. He had a step-son and a daughter. I wondered why he wanted them and not me. I wondered what was wrong with me. During that visit, he gave me a jewelry box with a tiny little ring in it: my birthstone. I still have that jewelry box.
 
By the age of nine, he was little more than a fading memory. I felt rejected, unwanted. I dreamed he would want me someday. I longed for a relationship with him. I wanted so much for him to want me. When my mom told me my step-dad wanted to adopt me I agreed to be his daughter. I wish I could say that I felt honored, but in all honesty, I felt like my greatest fears were confirmed. My dad didn't want me. He had agreed to let me be someone else's daughter. I kept hoping he would show up at our doorstep and stop the adoption process. It was a confirmation: I wasn't good enough. I felt that rejection to my core.

We celebrated my adoption, but there was a heaviness in my heart. I started calling my step-dad "Dad" that day. I learned to spell my new last name. Those were the only real changes I recall. I didn't feel different. My adoption was a salve spread thinly over a gaping wound. I understood it was what was best for me, but it did little to ease the pain.

It is easy to miss God at work in our lives. When I was a heart-broken nine-year-old girl, I could not see God's hand on me. I despaired. I mourned what might have been. I grieved for a relationship I never had with a daddy I never knew. I could not discern the complexities of the situation as I can now, just as the understanding I have as an adult can not change what I felt as a child and how it shaped me into who I am today.

I could not see that when my birth father took his hand off of me, when he decided it was better if he was not a part of my life, God had already chosen my redeemer. He had already aligned my future with His will. He had made a provision for me. His hand was on me the entire time. So great was His faithfulness that He provided me not only a redeemer, but also a "Dad", a tangible hand, a reassuring smile, and a provider. I couldn't see that the salve I had discounted was working slowly, over time, to heal that deep, raw wound in my heart.

That wound is tender to this day. I still think about my birth father. I still play with the idea of a relationship with him. I have had contact with him twice since then. There will always be a place in my heart reserved solely for him.

Yet I appreciate my "Dad" now more than ever. Our relationship was never perfect. We aren't especially close. I never felt like he adored me as a child. Somehow, that makes his faithfulness even sweeter. He accepted me, my adolescent awkwardness, my teenage attitude, and my need to be clothed, fed, cared for, and loved. I had no claim over him. He was in no way obligated to me. There was no way for me to deserve his provision.

He gave it freely, no strings attached. My entire youth was an act of human compassion and kindness on his part. Every single day He gave what I could never deserve. The man I took for granted, that felt like second-best to a broken-hearted little girl, was more than I could have ever asked for. While I was busy longing for my heart's desire, God sent me what He desired for me; He sent me what I needed.





"The Lord bless him!" Naomi said to her daughter-in-law. "He has not stopped showing his kindness to the living and the dead." She added, "That man is our close relative; he is one of our kinsman-redeemers." Ruth 2:20